One-Night Stand Etiquette: 8 Things To Remember
When you’re single it can be tricky to meet new people that you’re genuinely interested in and would consider going on a date with, however we all have sexual needs and desires to fulfil, so one-night stands (assuming you are safe and careful) can help you to test out what’s on the market whilst on the lookout for Mr or Miss Right.
There is an unwritten code of conduct to bear in mind when it comes to one-night stands in order to help then run as smoothly as possible, and avoid any embarrassing or awkward encounters. We’ve put together some of the top etiquette moves to make to ensure for a seamless and enjoyable one-night stand (whether you’re going out with the aim of finding one, or if you just find yourself in a happy situation!)
You may not be planning a one-night stand, and you definitely don’t want to go home with just anyone, but it’s always worth preparing for that eventuality just in case – and the first step to prepare is to clean your flat/house. You don’t want to take someone back to your place at the end of the night, only for them to have to climb over items strewn on the floor en route to the bedroom. You will be silently (or not so silently) judged if your place is a mess – it does say a lot about you and how you conduct yourself as a person. Cleaning up and making your place of residence presentable increases your chances of them staying and not making a run for it the first chance they can get.
Try to get to know someone sober
What you don’t want to do when looking for a one-night stand is drink as much as you possibly can before getting up the courage to go and talk to someone; by that point not only will you come across a drunken mess, but your beer goggles may well and truly be in place.
You might think that someone is a 10/10 looks and personality-wise whilst you’re talking to them in the club, but then when you wake up in the morning you realise that number has dropped and they’re not your type at all. Yes, it sounds shallow, but how do you know what someone’s really like unless you get to know them whilst sober?
Don’t rush to the bedroom
When you get talking to someone that could possibly be of interest, and you think that there may be the possibility of you both going home together, stick around and enjoy their company; don’t make it absurdly obvious that you’re only interested in one thing and need to leave immediately to make it back to the bedroom.
It may be a one-night thing, you may never see them again, and you’ll both be of this understanding, but it’s never nice to make someone feel as though they’re only good for one thing. Have a drink, have a chat, get to know them a little (without getting too personal and deep) and then if things are still going well then invite them back to yours.
Don’t do it as revenge
If you’ve had an argument and a subsequent breakup with your boyfriend/girlfriend, don’t go out looking for a one-night stand as revenge to hurt the person that’s hurt you. You might think that it’ll make you feel better, but it won’t; you’ll end up feeling even worse. Have one for all the right reasons, not the wrong ones.
Make sure it’s not someone immediate
It can sometimes be hard to meet people you don’t know, especially if you live in a relatively small town or city, but try not to have a one-night stand with anyone in your immediate circle – whether that’s your friends, or people that you’re likely to see around and about following the one-night stand.
What you don’t want is stories circulating and rumours spreading, with people comparing (if you’ve had a one-night stand with people who know each other) and that awkward scenario of not knowing how to act around each other now that you’ve seen each other naked. You’ve all heard that well known phrase “Don’t poop where you eat” and it couldn’t be more true than in this case.
Don’t expect a sleepover
Unless you’re both intoxicated or tired following you tryst and fall asleep straight away, don’t expect to be invited for a sleepover. That doesn’t mean you grab your clothes and do a runner the second you’re both done, but you have to bear in mind that a sleepover, sleeping next to someone in their own home, is quote an intimate thing. Imagine how you’d feel if you had a one-night stand in your own home and the person wouldn’t leave – now put yourself in their shoes. They may invite you to stay, but if the invite isn’t there then don’t expect one.
Don’t get clingy & emotional
The last thing anyone ones from a one-night stand is to find that they’ve picked up someone that’s clingy and emotional, especially when the whole point of a one-night stand is that firstly there’s no strings and secondly there’s no emotions (other than pleasure, obviously). Don’t ask for their number, don’t ask personal questions about their family, friends, life plan and dreams, and don’t think that because you’ve had sex you’re going to all of a sudden be wined and dined.
AND DON’T FORGET…
…it’s the law to be upfront about your sexual health, particularly if there’s any issue that would put your sexual partner’s health at risk. This is an obvious one, but you’d be shocked at the amount of people who don’t have the courage to tell people their sexual health. If you don’t want to tell people, get the issue seen to and addressed before looking for a one-night stand.