One-Night-Stand Etiquette: 7 Things To Remember
One-night-stands can be a lot of fun, there is no shame in admitting that. Having said that, it’s worth remembering that there are rules that need to be followed in order to have a successful one-night stand where you don’t make yourself look like a fool and end up becoming the topic of discussion with your cohort and their friends.
Here’s a few to get you started…
Be honest with yourself
One-night stands work based on the assumption of no-strings; that means no feelings, emotions and/or attachments. If you’re about to have a sexual encounter with someone you don’t know, you’re more likely to be able to follow the rules. However, don’t even think about having a one-night-stand with someone you know and are secretly in-love with; it won’t end well and you’re likely to get your heart broken. Don’t even risk it. Don’t do it to yourself.
Similarly, if you’re not the sort of person that can emotionally detach from the situation and find that you still get attached to those you’re having one-night-stands with, even if they’re complete strangers, maybe they’re just not for you. One-night stands are not for everyone, and that’s not a bad thing. It’s no different than open relationships or swinging not being for everyone.
Check your beer goggles
When alcohol is involved it’s easy to do something that seems like a good idea at the time, only to regret it when your beer goggles wear off. Before going home with a random girl/guy ask your friends what they think; us it someone you might normally go for? Do them seem OK as a person? (and not a potential murderer?) How has the alcohol affected them too? You don’t want to end up going home with someone to wake up the next morning and find they’re not your type at all, and you definitely don’t want to go home with someone who is possibly too drunk to know what they’re doing in the first place.
Always carry condoms
You may not be anticipating a one-night-stand, but if you’re single it’s always a wise idea to carry a spare condom in your wallet/purse. It’s better to be safe than sorry, and the last thing you want to do is realise that you don’t have one, continue on anyway and have unprotected sex, and then end up with either an STI or a bun in the oven.
It’s easy when you’re talking to someone, especially when alcohol is involved, to overshare information; how much of an idiot your ex is, why you’re so unhappy with your day-to-day life, blah blah blah. Don’t do it. They don’t care, as harsh as it sounds. If you’re having a one-night-stand there should be one thing on your mind, that’s it. Don’t kill the mood.
And whatever you do, don’t get emotional in the heat of the moment and say anything you’re going to regret. Don’t be Ted from How I Met Your Mother and declare your love on the first date/sexual encounter. He may not have lived to regret it, but you will.
Before you leave the club/pub/bar (or wherever) with them and head to back to yours/theirs, let them know that you have to be up early in the morning to visit a friend – just in case you don’t get on well or you wake up in the morning and regret what you’re doing. You always then have the option of saying your friend cancelled if you want to stick around, and they won’t be as offended if they wake up to find you gone as they’ll just assume you got up to see your friend.
Don’t overstay your welcome
We mentioned in the above point that you can always stick around and say your plans got cancelled if you like the person you went home with, but the feeling needs to be mutual and you definitely don’t want to overstay your welcome! Stick around for breakfast maybe, a little small talk, but then leave and go home. If they like you too you’ll leave them wanting more. If they don’t like you, the last thing they want is you to stick around their flat/house all day whilst they’re wishing you would just leave. Don’t be THAT person.
Take what’s yours
Don’t be one of those who “accidentally” leaves something behind – your watch, your pants etc. – just so you’ve got any excuse to go back and get it, and to of course see the person again. And in the case that you genuinely did leave something behind by accident, you have two choices to make; accept that it’s gone forever and you’re never going to see it again, or arrange to meet up to collect it. Either way it’s going to look as though you left something behind on purpose, and you’ll soon become the topic of conversation with them and their friends.
Sometimes one-night-stands can be the start of something beautiful, but this isn’t always the case so it’s best to go in with the attitude that you’re going to (hopefully) have a good night and anything else may be a bonus – or not, depending on how well you do/don’t get on
Found in Sexual Health